Everyone has those days…the moments that feel endlessly lonely. Sometimes that mood sneaks up on me. It catches me outside while walking down Fifth Ave from school. It must be all the family tourists, or the international couples who must hold hands, and take kissing pictures— either way I often escape into the calming serenity of Bergdorf Goodman. As I take the escalator down to the beauty department, the pretty aromas of sandalwood and jasmine fill my nose, and I am greeted by red rouged smiles. A healthy does of attention and suddenly a ballet pink lip-gloss goes a long way. I feel a natural affinity to Truman Capote’s character Holly Golightly.
“You know those days when you’ve got the mean reds…. the blues are because you’re getting fat or maybe it’s been raining too long. You’re sad, that’s all. But the mean reds are horrible. You’re afraid and you sweat like hell, but you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Except something bad is going to happen, only you don’t know what it is. What I’ve found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany’s. It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there…”
Sometimes though, long after Tiffany’s, or Bergdorf’s has shut its doors, the loneliness comes over me and I might try to text my way out of it. A random bbm to a boy I should have deleted long ago— In reality though don’t we all just prefer to eat our way out of it. I have no shame in admitting that often a distracting bowl of cereal can clear those mean reds. Tonight as I went to seek refuge, I got a real sign. I opened my cabinet and was smacked in the face, but before I could look up or down, cheerios jingled all over my floor. Honestly I could have cried. There I was gathering on my hands and knees, picking up single cheerios from my zebra rug. I finally just began to laugh and I formed a pretty picture from this mess.
